We all comprehend what angriness is, and we've all experienced it: whether as a fleeting aggravator or as full-fledged rage.
Angriness is a entirely normal, commonly healthy, human emotion. However when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it might lead to troubles-troubles at work, in your personal relationships, and in the total quality of your life. And it might make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Angriness/rage is technically not an emotion; rather it's a protective reaction to a sensed fear or threat. Let me state that once more: rage isn't really an emotion; it’s a protective reaction to a sensed hurt or threat.
Think about it; have you ever gotten mad about something that on some level didn't feel threatening to you? Somebody cuts you off, somebody tells you to do something you don't want to do, a loved one says or does something that feels controlling or simply plain mean. All of these situations might be sensed as threatening. And when threatened, our instinct is to protect ourselves or something really bad might happen to us. That‘s where angriness, rage and aggression come in.
Trust it or not, if you use angriness properly, you might find that you've happier and fitter relationships. Positive use of angriness might likewise build self-regard. If you are able to tell somebody your feelings instead of holding them inside (note - I stated ―tell-not -shout), you're saying to them and to yourself, ―I'm a valuable person and I expect to be addressed as such.
In my experience, rage is almost like an addiction in that people are really originative in discovering all sorts of rationales for their rage. From time to time it’s almost as if they're in denial. Part of the reason for this is that they way our conduct seems on the inside might look a whole lot different to somebody on the receiving end of things!