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How it all began:
So once upon a time...
I had a night job. It wasn't a bad night job really and it led to the amazingly awesome job I currently have... but it was a night job. Night jobs, no matter if you like them or not, suck. Your schedule is different then everyone else's. You have to try and sleep while a burning orb of gas insists on lighting up the world. You end up watching really bad TV at really odd times because you can't go to sleep as it will mess up your sleep cycle. Worst of all though, is you get phone calls in the middle of the day while you are trying to sleep. My night job was one where I had to be on call at all times day or night so I couldn't just turn my phone off. That was the reason behind... the prank.
I still to this day have no idea who committed the prank. I assume this is because it spiraled out of control and if I ever did find out who had committed this act I would end their life in a rather drawn out and painful way probably involving a 2x4, a nine iron, 1.4 million thumb tacks, and a hedgehog. What could make me hate someone this much?
Well someone thought it would be funny to sign me up for every "Go back to school!" college recruiting form they could find. I assume they stopped at around 100 of these things. Well they sold my information to 2 companies, and they sold it to 2 companies, and so on, and so on. I started getting between 50-100 phone calls a day. I put my number on the do not call list. Still got the calls. I told them to put me on their do not call list. Still get calls. I yelled, I screams, I begged, I pleaded... all to no avail. Finally I lost it, and just started screwing with them to see how far I could get.
The answer sometimes was actually quite far. Through a combination of language barriers and indifference on their part, I began making my friends and family laugh when they called. I posted new ones from time to time on Facebook. Now finally I am collecting them here in one place. I hope you enjoy them.